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My iPhone ‘Phinger Paintings’ And Digital Mashups Are Now Available To Purchase Online As Limited Edition Prints

26 May

Check out this extensive article in the May 2019 edition of Artfuly (sic) Magazine.

It’s on Page 54 onwards.


 My burgeoning catalogue on Artfuly.

Harleking (original) 20.5.19




I’ve also got an ever-growing collection on Artboost (where you can also buy unsigned A2 prints).

he Enigma Revalations (original) 25:5:19

The Enigma Revelation

You can find a wide range of merchandise created from my artworks available on


Nature Boy. 20.5.19

Nature Boy



Check out my interior design page on Pinterest

1.5.18. Throwing Shade

As I’m also an Airbnb Superhost, you can stay in one of two rooms in me and my mum’s beautiful house by the canal in the historic city of Bath (once the dreaded virus has passed).  I’ll show you how I create my iPhone ‘phinger paintings’ in person!


Minimal May Be (original) 19:5:19

Minimal Maybe

Maximal May Be Two (original). 10:5:19.PNG

Maximal Maybe Two


7 Feb

A visual blog of digital art works created by Steve Swindells on his iPhone SE, featuring dots, circles and a curated journey (that was deliberately ironic) of pixellation.


A. Pixel Painting 1RS

A Pixel Painting


Autumn Circles Fallingss

Autumn Circles Falling



Cafe Culture.jpg

Cafe Culture


Damaged Goods.jpg

Damaged Goods


Dot Dot Comss

Dot Coms


\Flower Circles.jpg

Flower Circles


Flower dots too.jpg

Flower Dots Too


Flower Dots.jpg

Flower dots


Flowershop dot com.jpg

Flower Shop Dot Com



Gay Ghetto.jpg

Gay Ghetto


Impressionist Rain.jpg

Impressionist Rain









Me Myself And Iss

Me Myself And I


Nana Dot Com Tooss.jpg


Nana Dot Com Too







red red white white street photography.jpg

Red Red White White


Red, white, navy and white. Street Photography


Red White Navy And White


Self Pixtrait


Self Pixtrait






Sociable Housing


Sociable Housing


Swans And The Serpentine Summer Pavilion


Swans And The Summer Pavilion


the Golden Temple


The Golden Temple



The Parakeets Of Hyde Park.jpg


The Parakeets Of Kensington Gardens


The Windmills Of My Mind.jpg


The Windmills Of My Mind







Valentine Vision Free

Vision Free


Valentine Vision Too.jpg


Valentine Too


Valentine Vision.jpg


Valentine Vision



7.2.18 A Dotcommunist From The End Of The Fucking World

The Dotcommunist Actress From ‘The End Of The Fucking World’


7.2.18 Photo Shoot

Photo Shoot At Rancho Deluxe

7.2.18 Waiting For The Fall

Waiting For The Fall


7.2.18. Lady With Light


Lady With A Light

19. 2.18 Freedom Bar Dot Com

Freedom Bar Dot Com

19.2.18 Elementary, My Dear Dotcommunist!

Elementary, My Dear Dotcommunist

19.2.18. Tunnel Vision

Tunnel Vision

All images created on the iPhone SE © Steve Swindells









Mashups And Montages

23 Oct

Midcentury mash-up

Mid-century Mashup



A collection of digitally enhanced images, created using various apps, from photos taken on my iPhone SE and processed in Instagram, then up-pixellated using the iResize app on my Mac Pro.


I present them in no particular order.  They have, however, all been created within the last three years. If you see a hypertexted title, it means there’s an original song by your’s truly, or my alter-ego Thom Topham, for you to have a listen to – so headphones or speakers ON!

Giant DogRS

Giant Jack Russell



Lightbulb MomentRS

Lightbulb Moment



Urban Fall

Urban Fall


Thought Bubbles

Thought Bubbles


Canal Sunsets

Canal Sunsets



Honeycombe Holiday

Honeycombe Holiday


Eternal Flame

Eternal Flame


Hope and fabric roll mashupaw

Hope And Fabric

The A Team

The A Team


Just Be You TifulRS

Just Be You Tiful


Lily Rose Shard

Lily Rose Shard


Most- Poderm Mashup Nov 15thMU



Self Pixtrait

Self Pixtrait







Retro Graphic MashupRS






Rotunda Flower

Flowering Rotunda


The Windmills Of My Mind

The Windmills Of My Mind



City Scopes

City Scopes


Soho Light

Soho Lights And Sights


Patterns Of Xavier

Patterns Of Xavier


Whistable Wonders

Whitstable Wonders



Olympic park

Olympic Park



Hello Habibi

Hello Habibi







Tales Of The City

Trails Of The City



Industrial BouquetRS

Industrial Bouquet



Black Dog Kiss Meaw

Black Dog


Allies And Alleysaw

Allies and Alleys




Serge In The South MashupRS

Serge In The South




Bouguet Of Barbed Wire

Bouquet Of Barbed Wire




Shard GardensRS

Shard Gardens





Swimming In Wine

Swimming In Wine


Brutalism And Bouquets


Brutalism And Bouquets


The Lady InBlack Alleyaw

The Lady In Black Alley


Carnaby Christmas Lights Mashupaw

Shining Star (a time of love)



Eyelights fused with autumn tree

Autumn Eyelights


Floating GardenRS

Floating Garden



Hook Line And Sinker. !. 9. 16jpgss

Hooks, Lines And Sinkers

A train Runs Through ItRS

A Train Runs Through It




Yes. Oct 9th 2017

The Keeper Of The KeysOh My God





Will PillsRS






Floral StreetRS

Floral Street





The Waiting Womb Of Paddington Bare

The Waiting Womb



Urban SplashRS

Urban Splash




Junction Conjunction



B1. Sky Faces

Blue Sky Thinking




Beauty - Polignano a Mare mashup

Beauty And The Beach



City In In The Sunset SkyRS

Watching The Lights





Cabbage Patch Doll

Cabbage Patch Doll

CU (Creartive Union)

Creative Union








Fating For The WallRS

Fating For The Wall





High And Dry

Flowerdots2. 30.1.17IS





Abdul Leaf It Out

Leaf It Out



Tales Of The City

Trails of The City







Flowerdotstoo. 30.1.17IS

Flowerdots Too




Flowers In The Alleyig

Flowers In The Alley





Flowershop mashup collage. 30.1.17 IS

Floral Tribute




Flowershopdotcom. 30.1.17IS

Flowershop Dot Com




Justice TowerRS

Justice For Grenfell






NCY Flower MontageRS

Flower N’ Power




Michael In MashupRS

Michael Mashup



Orchids And CyclistRS

Orchids And Cyclist




Mixed-up MediaRS

Mixed (up) Media





Purple rein collageRS

Purple Reign












Old Oak Lane Exit MashupRS

Old Oak Lane Exit




Amy's Empty Winehousess




Autumn Circles Fallingss

Autumn Circles Falling




Cross Dressing








Flower In The Atticss

Flower In The Attic




Me Myself And Iss

Me Myself And I




Nana Dot Com Tooss

Nana Dot Com







Seasonal Cycles. 11.9.16ss

Seasonal Cycles










The Sky's The LimitRS

The Sky’s The Limit







Tower Of flowersRS

Tower Of Flowers

















X. Pixel painting 2RS

Pixel Painting








Y. Melded MashupRS

Melded Montage






12.7.18. Mastaba Mashup

Mastaba Mashup

I hired a rowing boat at the Serpentine in London’s Hyde Park, where Christo and Jeanne-Claude’s magnificent masterpiece domintates the lake, and took several photographs.

12.7.18. The Wonder of Wild Flowers

The Wonder Of Wild Flowers

14.3.18 Cornish Dream

Cornish Dream

14.3.18. Centrepoint Customised

Centrepoint Customised

14.3.18 Digital Arch

Digital Arch

14.3.18 Horses For Courses - More Soho Stories

Horses For Courses – More Soho Stories

14.3.18. A Digital Kiss On Parliament Hill


14.3.18. Bouquet Behind Liberty

A Bouquet Behind Liberty

14.3.18. Gay Ghetto

Gay Ghetto

14.3.18. Skywalkers

Sky Walkers

14.3.18. Snow Globe Mashup

Snow Globe

14.3.18. The Lady In The Tower

The Lady In The Tower

16.1.18. Matera Montage

Matera Montage

16.4.18. Digital Vertical Distraction

Digital Vertical Distraction

18.5.18 Lo-fi Flowers Mashup

Low-fi Flowers

18.5.18. Yellow Hip Pop Art Mashup

Yellow Hip-Pop Art

26.4.18. Cafe culture 2 mashup

Cafe Culture


26.4.18. FLoral Junction. Mashup


Floral Junction


26.4.18. Flowers And Towers Mashup

Towers And Flowers


26.4.18. Midcentury Mood Mashup

Mid-century Mood

26.4.18. Heaven's Gate. Mashup


Heaven’s Gate

26.4.18. Psychedelic Station

Psychedelic Station

23.7.18. The Garden Of Earthly Delights

The Garden Of Earthly Delights


23.7.18. Flower Boy.jpg

Flower Boy



All images, words and music © Steve Swindells. All rights reserved. October 2017.




2014 Revisted Via My Old iPhone 4S (which died). Part 1.

28 Aug

The title speaks for itself.

This is most definitely a photo blog, but I will probably feel moved to comment on pics in passing.

I’m writing this in the early house Bank Holiday Monday in N.W London. The stragglers from Carnival are still dribbling by on this sultry, late summer night. I just had a joint on the balcony, accompanied by a V&T. So I’m feeling creative, having just up-pixellated (I think I invented that word) all these pics using the iResize App.

2014 was an interesting year. In August, I’d literally moved-up-in-the-world (to an even better loft apartment in the same complex but one floor up!) and had a brief but wonderful autumn holiday in Barcelona with my mum (aged 86 at the time), Mike, Sylvie and Thibault Swindells, and my teen nephew Leon Bahar. I also released my pretty-damn-rocky album The Hanging Baskets Of Babylon (why not click to listen to it, as you peruse the pics?), which is available to stream and download on all the usual digital suspects. Most of it is collaborative,  with some cool high-caliber American musicians: Jay Tausig, Ralf Lenz and former Captain Beefheart (yes really!) drummer Robert Williams, amongst others.

I’m just going to post the photos in the order that they appear in the desktop file.

10. Sainsbury's homebase, Finchley roadRS



Abandoned Morrocan PouffeRS.jpg

Abandoned Morrocan Pouf


Grand Union Canal Towpath, Harlesden.

Allotment ArtichokeRS

Allotment Artichokes



Arches - Parc El Clot, BarcaRS



Parc Del Clot, Barcelona.


Autumn glory - Roundwood ParkRS

Autumn Glory


Roundwood Park, Harlesden.


B4 it's BegunRS

B4 It’s Begun


Elephant and Castle.  These bleak and strangely evocative subways no longer exist.


Barcelona From Parc GuelRS

Park Guell


The view of Barcelona from Gaudi’s surreal,  pleasure garden is quite breathtaking. You can see the scaffolding around the towers of his ever-evolving masterpiece, La Sagrada Familia, in the centre of the pic. It looks like the great man also invented ‘upcycling’ with his imaginative and creative re-use of broken crockery.  Mind you, he probably broke it on purpose.


Barcelona MarinaRS

Marina Marinara



Barcelona Metro StationRS

Metro Windows





Barcelona is full of architectural and visual contrasts and surprises at every corner. It’s such a great walking city too. And there are cable cars, a funicular railway and even escalators (up to Park Guell) to help with the hills.


Billy Fury wayRS

Billy Fury Way


I find this so evocative. It’s over the road from West Hampstead Overground Station.


Canal Wharf. JPGRS



Grand Union canal. Harlesden.


Cat And Tiger Bike. NCYRS

Hidden Tiger, Surpised Cat


I found the kid’s tiger bike in the street. I thought one of my neighbour’s children would appreciate its retro, wooden charms. JJ, my wonderful cat (he passed earlier this year aged 19) looked somewhat taken aback by this territorial intruder.


Cawsand BayRS

Lemon Grey Horizon

Cawsand Bay, Cornwall.

Chiswick Mall SunsetRS

Chiswick Mall Sunset



Cool Venue, Hackney WickRS

Hipster Hangout, Hackney Wick



Damnation Alley, West HampsteadRS

Damnation Alley

West Hampstead.



Derelict 50s Building, Hammersmith BridgeRS

Derelict Sunset Reflection

A beautiful 50s block overlooking Hammersmith Bridge which has since been demolished (criminal!) to make way for yet more tiny, anodine, dreary unaffordable apartments (with river views) and no architectural merit whatsover.


Dining Afloat Alfresco. BathRS

Alfresco Dining Afloat


What a cool invention – that’s the first time I’ve seen such a sliding/canvas roof thing! Sydney Gardens, Bath.


Diversity At summer Rites, Tobacco DockRS



Summer Rites.  Tobacco Dock.



Ella Ella TooRS.jpg

Ella Ella Ey




End Less. SohoRS

End Less





Film Crew. Poundstretcher HarlsdenRS



A TV interview with… a homeless woman? A drug abuser? Or maybe both. Outside Poundstretcher in Harlesden.


Fox In The Hood. ladbroke GroveRS

You lookin’ at ME?

A fox in a derelict site by the canal at Ladbroke Grove.


Framed landscape. BathRS

You’ve Been Framed

The view from Mike and Sylvie Swindells’ terrace in Larkhall, Bath. Thom Topham is my Bowie-esque alter-ego.  Double album coming soon.



Gaudi's Park Guel GatehouseRS

Park Guell Gatehouse




Happy Selfie. SS & LexRS

Happy Daze


Me and Lex on holiday in Kingsand, Cornwall in May 2014.

All photos © Steve Swindells.  Part 11 coming soon.



MGate. The rebranding of a classic, English seaside holiday resort. By Steve Swindells.

4 Aug


Suggested listening to accompany this travelblogue is The Enigma Elevations by yours truly.

July the 19th, 2015

On a recent warm, sunny Sunday, I spontaneously decided  to visit a Kentish seaside resort with a bit of a dodgy reputation, both from the past and the present.  I’d heard, however, that the town’s future, if not orange, is probably bright, due to the relatively recent opening of that guaranteed saviour of any run-down town or urban area – an art gallery.

The Turner Contemporary turned-out to be simply magnificent.

Brilliantly cool architecture and judicious curation meld this inspired addition to the cultural cannon of Kent into a massive draw for this surprisingly alluring and aesthetically-pleasing resort.

It was formerly renowned as a tacky ‘kiss-me-quick’ resort for mostly working-class Londoners who were attracted to its golden sands and, later, for its proto-Coney Island, pre-theme-park attraction – the recently restored and re-opened Dreamland.

Then latterly it was on the cultural map as the stomping ground of alleged artistic icon Tracy Emin (sorry, I just don’t get her, beyond the hype) and the late, bipolar genius Hawkwind/Hawklords singer Robert Calvert (I was a member of the band in the late 70s). Margate’s most famous son, however, is indisputably the great English artist Turner. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to have a gallery named after him.

This was to be my first-ever visit to Margate.

MGate. Charing Cross Train to Margate

My journey… no, I really can’t use that reality-TV cliche to describe my excursion (that’s better) from the urban wilds of Willesden Junction, five minutes from where I live (in a dreamy loft apartment gifted by the gods in Central Harlesden), to Margate, by train from Charing Cross (changing at Gillingham), not realising initially that I could have travelled there direct from St Pancras on the UK’s only high-speed train.

Heaven Night Club, now a populist shadow of its former ground-breaking self (owned by supposed gay-culture-spokesperson Jeremy Joseph), still lurks in the arches beneath the station and is, regardless, a great venue that resonates with its long history of innovative and inspirational club nights in the 80s, a couple of which – Bad and Babylon – I instigated and promoted.  Happy daze.

MGate. Shard And Guys Hospital


The train rattled past South London’s landmarks and emerging neighbourhoods and new architecture, the views from the tracks always offering a unique visual insight into the exponential rewards (monstrous carbuncles n’ all) of London being newly-annointed ‘best city in the world’.

Architecture trackside

The train trundled through Lewisham (now there’s a property hotspot, I imagined, with its DLR terminus, fine Victorian housing stock and new-build blocks sprouting like genetically-modified concrete crops), Blackheath and Charlton (memories of living in some old queen’s little terraced house with a bunch of gay hippies in the early 70s invaded my brain) and then, after Dartford and the great arc of its crossing, at last, the big skies and verdant pastures, hop fields and salt marshes of Kent, along with its power stations, docks, gravel pits, industrial estates, caravan-common parks, Travellers’ camps, mega-shopping centre at Bluewater, and a seemingly randomly moored prison ship, offering no chance of escape, other than a freezing swim to freedom. Or perhaps it’s designated to be converted into a floating Travel Lodge for illegal immigrants (this being the county closest to our often xenophobic French cousins).


I caught a glimpse of the sea, a silvery sliver in the sunshine, as the train approached Whitstable, already established as Notting Hill-On-Sea, with it’s seafood restaurants and rustic, perhaps now trusticarian, half-timbered housing stock.

MGate. Kent from train

I was reminded of a strange period in my life in the early noughties, when X, my long-term fuck-buddy and muse (he was the nearest thing I had to a lover for many years) revealed that he was in love with someone who shared the same birthday as me (weird), who’d invited him for a day out to Whitstable with some friends.  Great – thanks for sharing. He then revealed that he’d attacked this obsession of his, whom he told me looked like a well-known TV news-reader, in a gay bar in Clapham, because this guy was ‘with someone else’. I advised him to go and seek help at The Maudesley Hospital, South London’s premier mental health destination, whilst wondering why he felt it necessary to burden me with all these strangely disturbing details.  Was he testing my jealousy threshold, or just being a bastard? The latter, I suspect.


I cut X from my life last year, after realising that he was draining the lifeblood out of me and was a waste of space; someone whom I’d wrongly thought was special to me, by default, in the absence of anyone more substantial or less disturbed. What really ‘did it’ was when he wound-up JJ, my now fifteen year-old ginger tom, by pretending to threaten him with violence. JJ had always hated him, and now this was compounded and X was duly excommunicated.


As the vistas of Kent sped by like an alt-tourist video on YouTube, I sighed and wondered why I’d been beguiled by X and his wonderful bum for nearly twenty years. Oh yes, it was nothing more than his beautiful bottom, wasn’t it?


Then the train pulled-in to Herne Bay Station, and I was mentally transported back to a sunny afternoon in said seaside town back in September 2008, when I’d joined several mutual, former members of Hawkwind and The Hawklords at The Kings Hall to commemorate the 20th anniversary of former frontman Robert Calvert’s death with a rather ramshackle, unrehearsed benefit for his last wife Jill, who was very ill.

I recall it being a beautiful day, weather-wise, and ‘a jolly good time’ as erstwhile Hawkwind leader Dave Brock might have said in his favourite cod-colonel voice, had he bothered to attend.


When I’d played keyboards and sung backing vocals on The Hawklords’ seminal, classic album 25 Years On, and played with them on a huge, sold-out UK tour in 1978, Calvert and I had become very close, so I felt it important to attend and perform, unrehearsed, with a host of other ex-members (apart from main-men Dave Brock and Lemmy) for this anniversary gig. The venue was terrific, there was a great turn-out and the atmosphere was rocking.  I immediately dubbed it ‘Hernia Bay’, which was possibly a bad thing to do Karmically: I got my very own umbilical hernia about five years ago, whilst having particularly vigorous sex.

On stage with former members of Hawkwind and Hawklords at 'Hernia Bay'

On stage with former members of Hawkwind and Hawklords at ‘Hernia Bay’


I love travelling alone on a train as it evokes memories. which can be something of an emotional roller coaster ride.


The train arrived at Margate, but no memory buttons were pushed, as this was my first time. I was, I suppose, a Margate virgin.


I emerged from the architecturally impressive station (the facade seemed vaguely art deco and somewhat reminiscent of all those Fascistectural –  I just invented that –  railway stations in Italy) into glorious sunshine and immediately noted that I was a stone’s throw (not a pebble, as the beach is famously sandy, so na na na Brighton) from the seafront.

As I surveyed the scene, my eyes were immediately drawn to the right, where the town’s only tall building, the iconic (if you’re into ‘brutalist’ architecture – which I am) Arlington House, erected in 1964, dominates the town’s skyline, along with the newly-opened Turner Contemporary Gallery and the harbour’s clock tower. I realised immediately that Margate was extremely photogenic – especially on that Sunday, with dramatic cloud formations immediately evoking Turner’s vigorous and vibrant brushstrokes.


Arlington House

Arlington House

Arlington House could be described as Margate’s answer to Notting Hill’s Trellick Tower, but unfortunately minus the outside spaces. Later research revealed that a small, two bed flat with a sea view (they all have sea views, although one facing West would be best) and needing total refurbishment, could be had for a mere £80K.  Although, apparently the service charge is quite steep.

MGate. Arlington House

Facing Arlington house across a small park is a rundown terrace of houses and shabby hotels diagonal to the seafront – with views across the bay. Ripe for redevelopment, obviously. How great would it be if the terrace could be gradually bought by a housing association, with a good percentage devoted to social housing (funded by the other percentage of better-off buyers).  Don’t hold your breath.

Mgate, Rundown houses with sea views

Then,  heading down to the promenade and looking a few hundred yards to the right, you’ll see the iconic, retro, vertical  signage of Dreamland on its brick tower, which gave me a bit of a photographer’s hard-on, sorry, thrill.


Next – to the promenade, to take pics of the parading passers-by and the beach and its immediate surrounds. First-up, A nicely-restored pavilion on the prom’. A shelter, I guess you might call it? But it’s rather beautiful.

Mgate. Pavilion on the prom

Then the deliciously retro-tacky-cool delights of the still-faded facades of the newly-reopened Dreamland (which immediately transported me to my youthful memories of seaside, family camping holidays in the 60s) which I didn’t visit this time, as I was more interested in the Turner Contemporary Gallery as my first objective. The exterior visuals of Dreamland made me almost salivate – so who knows what visual joys will captured on my next visit when I take a ride through this vintage amusement park’s living history?

Mgate 7. Dreamland 1

Why can’t I live in a duplex apartment in the tower which hosts the vertical sign? Come on fate – gimme a break! It would be vaguely redolent of a young Woody Allen growing-up in a shack beneath the Coney Island roller-coaster in – what was it? – Annie Hall? Yes.

Mgate 8. Dreamland 2

Apparently, the big wheel and the retro-roller-coaster aren’t open yet, but I love this Instagram shot of a family passing by the still semi-derelict vibe of Dreamland.  Fun for all the family! Kiss me quick! Saucy seaside postcards! Hot dogs, warm cider and unrequited teenaged love and…

Mgate 9. Dreamland big wheel

Now for some random peeps-on-the-prom shots – mostly taken using my Canon EOS 30D. The other shots (can you work out which are which?) were taken on my iPhone 4S using the Camera Plus Pro App – highly recommended.

MGate, Statue on beach






Now here’s a pic (taken on the Canon) of what appears to be the continuation of another deliciously retro 50s/60s throwback – a bikers’ cafe on the seafront, as I continue my walk along the prom’ towards the Turner Contemporary Gallery.


Soon after, I came across some serious gentrification on the seafront as I headed for the gallery, whist musing about what fun it would be to set up The Tina Turner Contemporary Gallery as an alternative pop-up, in some derelict art deco lido, or something. Imagine if there actually was one? 😉

Mgate 9. Rickus Cocktail bar

Mgate 10. The Sands Hotel

The view from The Sands Hotel (which is pretty cool, I see from the website, although I didn’t go inside).


Then next door…

Mgate 11. Retro cool

Retro-modern Beach Reflection

Retro-modern Beach Reflection

Bring on the gallery!


I really liked the building immediately. It looked totally ‘right’ and beautifully clean and simple with more than a nod towards a maritime, local-fishing-industrial vernacular.

Mgate 13. Turner Contemp

Mgate 14. Turner Contrast


The next pic looks almost like a Canaletto transported to 2015.

The view from The Turner Contemporary Gallery.

The view from The Turner Contemporary Gallery.

The kinetic installation – or is it a sculpture? – in the foyer features a whole lot of cymbals.  Does that make then cymbolic? The backdrop is real though, that’s a huge window overlooking the sea.  Cool huh?


I was thrilled to observe that the featured exhibition was by Grayson Perry, a supremely talented and out-there potter and artist – and Turner Prize winner. He’s a very confident cross-dresser, or transexual, with a great deal of style and intellectual panache, coupled with an almost Hogarthian observation of our social mores, laced with satire and affectionate humour.

Mgate14. Provincial Punk stairs

It was called Provincial Punk, which raised an inner smile. Unfortunately, photography wasn’t allowed in this free exhibition, so I bought a postcard of one of his punky pots (featuring Kurt Kobain and Janet Jackson) and a really funny/cool postcard collection entitled ‘Playing To the Gallery’.




As I left the gallery I mused about the award-winning British film Mr Turner, starring the consistently excellent actor Timothy Spall and directed by the uniquely talented Mike Leigh, whose clever, improvised films I’ve always enjoyed (he doesn’t do scripts).

There’s a Swindells family link to both the movie and the location; as Margate in Turner’s time was recreated in the Cornish village of Kingsand where my family are lucky enough to own an idyllic holiday cottage (which is available for rent) overlooking the beach. And our cottage was one of those transformed for the few weeks of filming, before being returned to exactly how it looked before. Here’s my elder bro Rob looking distinctly un-19th century posing on ‘the set’.

Norcott Starring as Margate

Here’s the cottage returned to normal.



I walked past the gallery and along the sea shore, wondering what I might discover around the corner. I was not to be disappointed.

MGate. Red boat, white cliff, blue sky


Mgate 16. Breakwater



I came across  the crumbling, strangely beguiling facade of a Victorian or Regency building (with art-deco additions), which seemed to me to be hiding an architectural mystery secreted in the stubby chalk cliffs.  I wondered what it might be.


I noticed that an exit door was open – it would appear that some sort of matinee performance had just ended. Was it a theatre? I wandered in unchallenged to investigate.

Mgate17. Winter gdns

Welcome to The Margate Winter Gardens. An absolute gem, both culturally and architecturally.


The original Edwardian building (later research revealed that it was constructed in 1911) was obviously re-styled in the 30s.


As I wandered around taking pics on both my iPhone4s and my Canon, I noticed a kind-of pantomime throne with a cheap cardboard ‘crown’ on its seat cushion sitting randomly on the edge of the auditorium. So I couldn’t resist taking a deliberately silly ‘royal selfie’ of ‘King Stephen’.

MGate. King Stephen

Sometimes, I wonder how many people actually get ‘double irony’. Then again, having probably invented the term myself, I guess it’s in its cultural infancy.

To me, as I wandered lonely as a kiss-me-quick postcard along the nether regions of Margate’s enchanting seafront, I felt I was acknowledging not only the genius of Grayson Perry, but also all those faded, end-of-the-pier stars of British variety and comedy that had been part of my youth.

I was mentally transported back to my childhood holidays with three maiden aunts who shared a tasteless little modern bungalow in Polegate near Eastbourne in Sussex.

The lovely, subtle scent of sweet peas, geraniums and pinks in the outside space of my loft apartment in North West London immediately transports me back to those halcyon days spent in their little garden (I recall making a puppet theatre out of a stool), when I used to travel unaccompanied on the train (it was still STEAM – and I remember my train once being powered by that awesome, blue, iconic modernist loco the Mallard) from Bath Spa, aged 7 and 8, to London Paddington.

The ‘Aunties’ as we called them (I wonder if they might have been lesbians?  Nah. No way) used to meet me there, then we would travel on the wondrous and magical (to little me) tube across to Victoria, to get the train to Sussex. They used to spoil me rotten, and special treats included going for afternoon tea at a wonderfully glamourous (to me ) Italian cafe called BonDolfi’s (which, with hindsight, was an art deco delight) in Eastbourne, where my favourite indulgence was a Marron Glace – a delicious confection of meringue, chestnut puree and whipped cream.

Then they would take me to shows at the end-of-the-pier theatre, where the big star was a tame, but rather charming old drag queen called Sandy Powell, or a variety revue called The Fol-De-Rols, which inspired me to dance along the promenade afterwards and jump-up and swing around lamp posts, like a wannabe Gene Kelly.

Then I wandered into the delightfully tasteless bar, with its plastic plants and awesome views.


As I left the Winter Gardens and continued my walk, I was reminded how blessed I was with good weather and great views.  Margate was being rebranded in my mind into MGate. I began to wonder if I might live here one day.


OMG – what the hell was this wonderfully evocative, semi-derelict building? All my entrepreneurial instincts started to automatically kick-in as wondered why such an apparent gem had been allowed to go rack and ruin.



Mgate19. Abandoned Lido

As I turned the corner I realised what the fascinating derelict building was – the bar, restaurant and nightclub attached to what had been Margate’s (now abandoned) art deco Lido, which had originally been a Victorian sea-bathing resort.


Later research revealed that the local Council, Thanet, have indeed mooted redevelopment of the Lido, but I didn’t see any evidence of regeneration.

The sound of raucous, youthful laughter echoed from the remains of the walls. So I shot a suitably ironic mini-art movie to try and capture the elusive MGate zeitgeist *add pinch of irony to taste*.

 It turned out to be a bunch of Spanish students hangin’ out in the ruined Lido, who, noticing my camera, asked if I’d take their pics. I was happy to oblige.


Then I took one on my iPhone and gave them my name on Instagram, so they could check it out.

Mgate20. Spanish Studentsjpg

Mgate23. Lido bar

This is MGate’s second iconic ‘vertical logo’, after Dreamland, and it’s damn beautiful – and still so well-preserved, unlike the derelict buildings and mysteriously beguiling subterranean aquatic facilities beneath it.

Mgate21. Lido sign

I crossed the road to check out the run-down-yet-charming Cliftonville area, where it soon became evident that this was a bit of an ‘immigrant ghetto’ and obviously somewhere where seaside bargains might be had, if one was in a position to invest.

I reminded myself that the local UKIP candidate for Thanet had been a favourite to win a seat in Parliament at the last election, but, thankfully didn’t.

So fuck you Farage!

I only wish I’d been able to see inside Frank’s club, but there was no sign of life.  Then I imagined the tacky, 60s flats above, with their direct sea views could be bought and refurbished very cheaply and turned into something rather special.  I would relish such a challenge.

Mgate24. Frank's Nightclub

I reluctantly turned my back on the sea to check out the Victorian and Regency terraces (along with some modern ones copying the vernacular) of Cliftonville and entered a square with a kid’s play area in the middle, where I captured this lovely moment.

MGate. Immigrant football


The area was scruffy and run-down, but had a certain charm and some interesting architecture, along with great views of the sea as the shadows lengthened on this gloriously sunny, late afternoon. Then I turned the corner into what seemed to be the High Street, which was parallel with the seafront a couple of blocks away – lots of fast-food outlets and Asian corner shops – I could almost have been in somewhere like Bradford if it weren’t for the bracing fresh air. Then my inner gaspomoter went off the scale as I spotted a beautiful Victorian Warehouse behind a Car Wash and wondered if it was empty and, naturally, er… when I might move in!

Mgate25. Carwash and warehouse

I turned the corner, back towards the seafront, and was astonished by the facade of this magnificent building, obviously a former storage facility for a removals company. I saw a man about my age coming out of the main entrance and asked him what went on inside and he replied that the building’s spacious rooms were let out to local artists.  ‘Are the rents cheap?’ I asked. ‘Yes,’ he replied, ‘very cheap really.’

‘Lucky local artists!’ I responded and he smiled enigmatically.

Mgate26. Depository

As I walked down the hill I saw a group of young girls coming towards me, dressed in colourful, ethnic clothes, which seemed to be a cross between Romany and Middle-Eastern.  They had rosy cheeks and olive skin and were laughing a lot. One of them pointed at my camera and they giggled as she asked in broken English ‘Can take picture of we?’ I was excited to smilingly agree but forgot to click the auto-focus; so, unfortunately, what could have been a great photo later turned-out to be all blurred.

When I’d asked where they were from, they’d all happily chorused ‘Slovenia’.

Now I was in a very attractive square surrounded by gorgeous Georgian, Regency and Victorian terraces – I was obviously in MGate’s renowned Old Town – but it was far more appealing than I could have imagined.

I saw a ‘For Sale’ sign at the end of an alley that widened into a little square and saw a very strange little house that seemed to have been designed in the sixties in a cod-Tyrolean vernacular – overlooking the Morrison’s supermarket car park. A friendly-looking woman got out of her car to go into her adjacent cottage and she said hello with a smile. I grinned-back and said ‘Hi,’ then pointed towards the little house: ‘I saw the For Sale sign and just wondered what it was…’

‘Oh it’s been for sale for ages.’

‘It looks tiny – maybe just one bedroom.’

‘Yes, minuscule.

‘This is my first visit to Margate – what’s it like living here?’ I asked.

‘Oh, I love it.’ She replied. ‘Quite a lot of locals moan about the immigrant population but I like the cultural diversity that they bring to what would otherwise be a rather dull, sleepy little provincial, seaside town.’

‘Has the Turner Contemporary gallery made a big difference?’

‘It’s been a total game changer,’ she enthused, ‘now there are lots of artists moving here and independent galleries are springing-up in disused spaces. It’s breathed new life into the town – and it’s made property a good investment too, although it’s still pretty cheap…’

‘Compared to somewhere like already-gentrified Whitstable?’

‘Absolutely – and a lot less pretentious!’

Mgate 27. Retro Shop

Now I was in retro-vintage heaven!  This was the third such shop I’d seen. I was drooling over both sideboards in the window.  I made a mental note to come and visit again on a weekday, when the shops would be open, but I did notice that the fabulous Seventies one sitting on top of the Sixties (?) one below was priced at £150 and looked to be in very good nick.  If that had been in a shop in Shoreditch, Islington or Clerkenwell, it would have been about £600 at least.

Then I came into the main Market Square and noted that there were several art galleries and bistros housed in various beautiful old buildings.

Mgate 28. Mkt square

Mgate29. Mkt square 2

I headed back towards the seafront, intent on getting some fish and chips, which I would accompany with the decent bottle of Chilean Merlot I’d bought with me (half-price at Tesco), along with a plastic glass, before reluctantly getting the train home. This being a Sunday, I didn’t want to get stranded. On my way, I noticed some cool development opportunities. Ah – if only I was in a position to implement them.

Mgate 30. Blue boarded-up

I later found out that these two beautiful houses with direct, Westerly sea views, one comprising four flats; the other a three-bedroomed house, were priced at £475 (which is what my two-bedroomed, London loft apartment might cost if I could buy it) and £450 respectively.  Drool.

Mgate32. Albert Terrace

I found a fish and chip shop that was just about to close (at dinner time?), but this meant that the affable owner gave me a huge piece of cod and loads of chips for just £3, as, he said: ‘That’s me last bit of fish mate!’

Mgate. Alfresco dinner

I ate my dinner on a park bench in the West-facing square overlooking the beach in front of Albert Terrace, where the two aforementioned houses were for sale (the fag-ends were not mine!). I was trying to work out how I was about to see the sun going down, when I was on the North-Eastern tip of Kent. The mystery was solved when I got home and found that MGate is actually situated on a promontory and faces West. I screwed the cap back on my half-consumed bottle of wine so that I could finish it on the train home, then ambled back to the station taking pictures of the sunset and it’s reflections, both on my iPhone and my Canon.  The next Instagram photo looks like it could have been taken in St Tropez!

Mgate31. St Tropez sunset

Mgate33. sunset Beach

That was another Instagram – now for some taken on my Canon EOS 30D (with its 50mm lens).

That’s the setting sun ‘illuminating’ the big wheel.


Turner would have liked this cloud formation.








When I reached the station and checked the departure board, I was delighted to discover that I could get a high-speed ‘Javelin’ train direct to St Pancras  – and would only have to wait ten minutes. Excellent!  That meant I could sit at a table on the train and charge my phone, which was nearly dead, despite me having brought an extra battery (because of the scores of pics I’d taken), then process my Instagrams via the Camera Plus Pro app that I use, whilst finishing the rest of my Merlot.  Happy daze again!


Mgate34. Hi-speed train home

And finally, Rochester Castle silhouetted against the sunset, taken from the train.


All photos © Steve Swindells.

BTW – the etched-glass sleeping pod for two people in my live-work loft apartment is available to rent via airbnb for just £49 a night. I’ve had eight five-star reviews so far!

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